How I Lost 30 Pounds in 1 Month

With 2012 coming to an end and 2013 right around the corner, I’m sure most of you are either humbugging New Year’s resolutions or embracing them. Me? I’m embracing the opportunity. Partly because I’ve been binging on holiday goodies. Okay, more like mostly. But I’m not alone, and I’m sure you had your fair share too. Or maybe you didn’t and are at a constant struggle to lose weight and keep it off. Welcome to my world, I’ve been struggling since I hit my teen years. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t tried to get it off. 

I’ve done tons of diets. I’ve used tons of products. I have worked out for hours every day for months and hadn’t lost a single pound of fat. I’ve starved myself. I’ve done detoxes. I have changed my entire diet...but to no avail. That is until I came across a random Facebook post earlier this year that sparked my interest and led to tons of research.

The HCG Diet. Have you ever heard of it? Most people I’ve spoken to have never heard of it, and tons are quick to dismiss it as a “fad diet.” Do not be discouraged. This diet has been around for decades and is the only diet with a huge community online with real people with real results. And no, nobody paid me to write this. I want to share what has changed my life and what can change yours too whether you are extremely obese or just have a few pounds you can’t get rid of. I am no doctor, but I will outline the basics of the diet here and me and my fiancées’ experience in doing it.

First let me show you Pre-Diet Emily (and Alberto, fiancée extraordinaire).

Oh my. YUCK! It’s a great picture (so cute), but would be better had I been a lot thinner. Now let me show you Post-Diet Emily:

OH LA LA! At 30 pounds lighter, I'm still not at my target weight just yet (there’s a lot to go) but…damn! Now lets see Emily from a couple days ago:

The . Weight. Is. Still. GONE!  I might be loading on the holiday yum yums, but the scale doesn't lie. It hasn't come back. I just feel like it has thanks to all these pies and cookies. 

If you have any ounce of self control and want to see 1-3 lbs fall off every time you step on the scale you have GOT to try the HCG diet. First and foremost, HCG is that hormone that pregnant women release (thought it occurs naturally in men and women). You can either get HCG injections from a clinic or buy the HCG drops and take them sub-lingually, which is what my fiancé and I did. DO NOT buy the homeopathic “all natural alternative” to real HCG. They’re banned, for one, and two, you’ll end up gaining weight and being malnourished.  It has got to be real HCG. If you are not sure, you can buy a cheapie pregnancy test and drop it on the strip. If it comes out positive, it’s real. If it doesn’t, send it back and get your money returned.

The diet regimen we did consisted of 3 phases. The load up phase/Phase 1 (2-3 days), the VLCD phase/Phase 2 (roughly 20-40 days), and the maintenance phase/Phase 3 (No shorter than 3 weeks). Phase 1 involves loading up on very fatty foods to get your body into fat burning mode.

Phase 2, or VLCD (Very Low Calorie Diet) involves eating no more than 500-700 calories per day. Absolutely no sugars, no starches, no carbs, no fats, and a very restricted diet allowance. Basically, we ate a LOT of chicken and tomatoes. But there are tons and tons of delicious Phase 2 recipes online that not only teach you how to cook without unhealthy fats and ingredients, but show you that healthy food CAN be delicious when cooked correctly with the right kind of food. We just happened to like the chicken and tomato recipes. ;)

I will be frank. The first day or two on the VLCD will be hard. Very hard. You will be hungry and will have to fight cravings. It’s all a part of the process and will soon fade as the HCG kicks in. In fact, you will be battling with yourself to actually eat because the HCG makes you feel full all of the time and completely takes away your cravings, which makes the entire process much easier.

This is the phase where all of your weight will come off. We started losing between 2 and 4 lbs the first week or two but then…well, let’s just say you CAN NOT CHEAT. You absolutely cannot stray even an ounce away from the diet or there WILL be dire consequences. We did, only a few bites and we plateaued for a few days. So instead of telling you how I lost 30 lbs in a month, I could be telling you how I lost 40 lbs in a month. Oh well!

The last phase is still keeping from starches and sugar but your calories are back to near normal and you can eat normally again…yay! You should not lose or gain any more than 3 lbs within the 3 weeks of the maintenance phase  to keep you weight stable so that you keep off all that fat you dropped.

If you do it to the T and follow the diet 100% you WILL lose weight daily and it WILL stay off, like it has for me and my fiancée. Together, we both dropped nearly 65 lbs in only a month and couldn’t be happier with the results. That being said, I advise you to do the diet with a friend or your significant other. I can’t say with complete certainty that I would have done the diet without him and vice versa because it is just so great to be going through the same thing together, you can both serve as each other’s rock and motivation.

Please don’t use my post as a guide! Read Dr. Simeons’ book Pounds and Inches to get the original guidelines for the diet and to learn the science behind how it works. Good luck if you do decide to do it! 

Stay strong and love on!

Way Off Topic: Cheesy Bacon Ramen! YUM!

So the other night I was sitting here trying to figure out what to blog about when my stomach growled angrily at me for not feeding it for 2/3rds of the day. I gave in and decided to go see what was in the fridge. Now, even though we had gone shopping the day before, there wasn't really any kind of lunch-type foods I could munch on until I decided to make dinner other than ramen...but that had been done before.

Old.

Blah.

Then I saw the bacon in the fridge...and then the cheese and my mouth started watering and I just DID IT! And I thought I would share my delicious, oh-so-not healthy lunch (:

Ingredients:

Ramen

Delicious delicious bacon

Cheese

One egg

Salt/Pepper to taste

Love <3

I took a few strips of bacon and cut it up into little pieces and started to render the fat off in the skillet while I boiled salted water and cooked my ramen. By the way, if you don't have the brick style ramen and have a cup style like me, Just take a sharp knife (be careful)_and cut it open from the bottom to the top and it should pop right out.

Cook the ramen in boiling water for 2 1/2 to 3 minutes until it is all loose from its original shape. Then strain that bad baby and drop it into some icy cold water and let it chill.

When your bacon becomes nice and brown and sizzling, strain out the cold water from your noodles and then plop that ramen right down into the hot pan and bacon grease. 

Kudos to Gramma for the awesome tongs!

Let this cook for a bit until the bacon is thoroughly tossed into your noodles. At this point, you can also add some Worcestershire sauce or some soy sauce for that extra umami flavor. Or you can look at your begging dog and get all giddy by how cute they look.

Just one morsel, please!

Then you can get back to cooking and drop an egg onto the side and scramble it a bit and then toss it in. You know, for when you REALLY want to get fancy.

Mix it all up and serve!

When its all dished out you can top it with some nice cheese and let it melt a bit before digging in. 

It was damn delicious! If you try it...enjoy!

Stay strong and love on!

Merry Christmas!

I'd like to take the time today to wish you all a very merry Christmas this year. Whether you're with your loved one or somewhere else, rest assured that everything will be okay. Christmas, for me, has always been a tradition thing. It's a time when what family we have left goes from my parents house to my grandmothers house for breakfast and presents and more presents and then lunch and cookies and fudge. Lots of cookies and fudge.

We do this every year and have done it every year since I was born. The huge family gatherings we used to have have dwindled to mere immediate family members but the tradition is still there. Every year my mom somehow floods her living room floor with presents, even if she barely had any money. She always wants to get all of us tons and tons of things when we in reality don't need anything, but we've always always always had more than enough and I have appreciated that.

So we all sit there in the morning with A Christmas Story on the TV (more than likely, anyways) waiting for my father to crawl out of his man-cave and creak up the stairs to make himself some coffee and then sit with us so we can all open presents. All the while making hilarious little side comments about everything we've gotten. It wouldn't be a good Christmas without him or his jokes! Then we head to my grandmothers house and do the same thing while we either wait for another turkey dinner or a delicious honey baked ham and this year, some fried chicken....Mmmm.

We never do anything hugely extravagant, but the little things we do are what make the tradition and the difference. I might not be with my fiancée this year like we planned, but we are together in our hearts and I hope he and all of you have the best Christmas yet.

Stay strong and love on! 

To Tell or Not to Tell

So you’re in a long distance relationship; a strong, long term, long distance relationship. While you’re going about your daily business, you see other people and their significant others together…happy. Then one day, for the first time, someone asks you if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. And you stumble on your words and think “My God, what will they think of me?” or “What a rude question. It’s none of their business!”

But you can’t just ignore whoever it is asking the question. So you need to figure out if you care what they might think or not. Answering “Yes” will bring about a series of questions, so be prepared to answer them if you want to be truthful. Who is it? What’s s/he like? Where is s/he from? You met where? How do you know this isn’t some like 50 year old fat pervert? How do you know s/he isn’t cheating? Have you even ever met face to face? What does your family think? Are you going to move there?  I could seriously write a book!

If you aren’t truthful (and you don’t have to be) you need to be prepared to answer the questions that follow. Why not? Have you ever dated before? What kinds of people do you like? I have a friend, do you want to meet? Do you want to go out with me? Why don’t you go out and have fun? Do you spend all your time alone? I’ve heard them all. They all suck.

Even in today’s age of technology people are still wary of those who are in long distance relationships. We see commercials for Match.com and even specific sites like ChristianMingle.com and BlackPeopleMeet.com all the time, but it is still a new idea for most people to meet an actual person through the internet and to fall in love with them, even if the two people aren’t physically together. Some of them are the naysayers that need a physical attraction to fall in love and hate those that can’t, others are more open minded and are willing to accept the idea, even though they wouldn’t do it themselves. And that’s more than okay, because long distance relationships are not for everyone. 

If you are in a long distance relationship and you haven’t “come out” or been asked specifically about it, now is the time to think about what your answers to some possible questions might be, and how much you are willing to tell. Yes, it is nobody’s business what your love life entails, and if you feel strongly this way you’re going to have to risk being an ass and just saying “Yes/No, I’d rather not talk about that as it’s a personal matter.” If it’s an acquaintance they’ll more than likely understand, albeit be a bit hurt/embarrassed at their prying. If it’s a friend, they may push and prod for answers. And if its family, they will certainly be hurt and angry that you aren’t sharing that kind of information with them. But it’s ultimately up to you and the kind of grief you want to put yourself in.

Me? I used to hide it when I was a lot younger. I was 13 when I met my fiancée and we got “together” two days before my 14^th birthday. Being young, I knew that it wouldn’t be as socially acceptable as it is now that I’m 21, and when I finally did come out to more than my best friend, I received a LOT of nasty and rude comments about it. He’s fake. What a loser. I’ll bet its some pervert child molester. I’ll bet he cheats on you. You know, the same kind of mean comments kids make to each other, but on a different topic other than how fat or ugly I was.

Because I’ve gone through the questioning and the interrogations, I know the answer to pretty much any question curious people can come up with. And it’s okay, I like answering questions and educating people and sharing that side of me. Fuck, I’m in love! When you’re in love you want everyone to know! Especially in social settings when “players” think they have a shot with you. It’s nice to be able to say “I’m spoken for” and leave it at that and enjoy the rest of your night. Some assholes might have negative comments like premature adolescents, but most people are polite.

In fact, most people are excited to hear about my tales. I suppose that is why I started this blog. There is a lot more to a long distance relationship than just a few superficial “ily” text messages and “cyber sex.” They are fascinated with the places I’ve been and seen and the kind of food I’ve eaten and people I’ve met…and I love sharing it.

Don’t be hurt by other’s opinions of your personal life…it’s YOUR life. But don’t assume the worst in people either. Yes there are assholes, but the ones who are genuinely interested and are excited for your happiness make all the different in the world…

Stay strong and love on!

Marjiuana Legalization According to an Officer

While on a ride along with an officer for an internship project for my degree, the topic of marijuana legalization came up. This is what the fine officer, who I will keep nameless, said:

“Well, a lot of officers are very…by the books. Most of the inner city cops are, but the ones here at these small town agencies…we don’t need to do what they do in the city. Our town doesn’t benefit from their arrests and tickets; it goes straight to the county. There’s no push for us to be stringent and tough super cops here. I can’t speak for the other officers, but as for me…I think before I write a ticket or make an arrest.”

He paused for a moment as we turned into a neighborhood with kids playing in the streets. We waved to a few of them and they waved back, shouting their HI’S! and HELLO’S! He continued as drove down the allotment:

“I think of it like this. If there is an 18 or 20 year old kid who casually smokes weed and gets arrested and convicted, that stays with him for life. He might just pay a fine and get a slap on the wrist, but I think of the future. I think of when he’s in his 30’s and 40’s, with children, a wife, and a home…as the years go by life gets more dangerous – he might want to get a gun to protect himself and his family. But because of a stupid decision he made years and years ago, he won’t be able to do that.”

He shook his head in disgust.

“I just don’t agree with that. Everyone should be able to protect themselves, it’s our right. Even if the person is being an ass to me, I think of how he has his own life. How something as…idiotic as pot can ruin certain aspects of someone’s future. It’s not right, and I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing the repercussions of my wanting to bust someone for something that trivial.”

I nodded and asked “So what do you do when you find someone with pot?”

He laughed. “Well, back in the day we could just give them a look and say “Get out of here with that. If I catch you with it again its mine. But today…no…I just make them crush it on the ground and send them away with a verbal warning. They're usually not happy about that.”

 I laughed this time, mentioning that if they didn't want to get caught they shouldn't be carrying it in public anyways. He nodded…and agreed.

How refreshing!

Stay strong and love on!

The United States of Me

Tee Hee

Every now and then I wake up with a notion; an urge, a bright idea...a thought. I go to write something short and it ends up being a book. Those of us who travel a LOT can probably see where I'm coming from this, but those who sit and spend most of their day watching a national news station probably will send me hate for it. That's okay, it's your right to express your opinion. It isn't your right to threaten, however. ;)

This is not the United States of America..this is the United States of ME! This isn't the land of the free, this is the land of the greedy. Where people only fight for each other's freedom of speech when it agrees with their own. Where the Constitution says ALL men are created equal yet we still have people in ghettos, women still get the short end of the stick, and homosexuals cannot PURSUE HAPPINESS.

Where we promise democracy but fool our people into believing they have two people to vote for, when in reality their vote counts for nothing. Where we have a RIGHT to education but have twisted it into a RIGHT to PAY for an education that will actually teach us something. Where people think the second amendment means giving every single a handgun and then shooting those who do not agree. Where people believe everything their news tells them and divides our country into LEFT and RIGHT. Where if you for one second believe everyone should be equal across the board you are not only WRONG, but you are a TERRORIST.

When I feed the poor they call me a SAINT. When I ask why the poor have no food they call me a COMMUNIST.

Where a country that promised freedom from religion has its people fighting over taking out "under God" from the pledge and putting prayer into school. Where we take our young men and women who are apparently too young to drink or smoke, slap a uniform on them and a gun in their hand and tell them they are fighting for the freedom of their country so that they can be expendable pawns. Where people think its OKAY to not care about another HUMAN BEING simply because they were not born on the same land they were born on. Where people jump at the chance to send their elderly to nursing homes and then hope for their death to come quickly so they don't have to keep paying for them to live.

Where people think its OKAY to let someone die because they don't have enough money or enough insurance to pay for an operation. Where people equate your worth to how much money you make, if you have a degree, and what your degree is in. Where people cannot understand the concept of "live and let live" and they they are NOT right when there is more than one answer. Where people get angry at others for practicing their rights the Constitution spells clear as day. Where criminals pay their debt to society and then are labeled as criminals for the rest of their lives.

Where in one sentence, someone says we need more protection but then says the government needs to leave us alone. Where people live in fear of an oncoming martial law that will apparently cause the military to break into our houses and kill us all, because the news says so. Where people claim they are in the BEST country in the world when all they have to reference the rest of the planet is what their news reporters tell them. Where people already make up their mind on an issue and cannot put themselves in anyone else's shoes but their own gilded ones. No no no, this is not the United States of America. This is not the place our forefathers dreamt of. This is a damn nightmare.

All I can say at the end of this is lead by example and fight for what you think is right. If you have to, leave and never look back. People will see you happy and either hate you for it or envy you. Do what makes you happy.

Stay strong and love on!

Are You Taking Things Too Fast?

If you have to ask the question “Am I taking things too fast?” then you probably are. A majority of us know the excitement of getting a new boy/girlfriend, especially if it’s your first or if you’ve been single for a looooooong time. But let me give you a piece of very good advice: Take. Your. Time. Nothing screams bad relationship like two people going all out and saying those three words after only knowing each other for a week.

First, ask yourself what you want. If you are going for just a fling, make that clear to your partner and never veer off course. If you are looking for love and a long term relationship, also make that clear to your partner, but only after you’ve made it clear to yourself AFTER getting to know the person you are interested in. Why? Every good romantic relationship starts out as a friendship. You HAVE to be friends before you can be lovers, else there will be disaster.

Let me introduce you to my friends, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. Ever heard of them? They’re the chemicals in our bodies that release during…romantic activity…that make you feel in love. That butterflies in the stomach, nervous, happy, and thrilling feeling you get that makes you think “this could be the one.” But shouldn’t we trust our bodies when it comes to this? Isn’t this a sign that we have found true love? Well, not exactly. Consider it a form of species survival. It is only natural to want to procreate because nature wants our lineage to continue. Therefore, our bodies crave the ecstatic feelings of romance so that we can pass on our genes and continue the circle of life.

Well, it’s not 10,000 BC anymore and we’re a bit evolved to where we don’t need to just hop into any person’s arms for the sake of having offspring. So what you have now is a scumbag brain that just confuses everything we have made mating out to be. That’s okay, though, as long as you’re able to conquer your brain and use it to your advantage.

After you know what you want, you need to tell promise yourself that you will take the time your future relationship needs to get to know your person and become their friend before mutually moving on. Learn their name, where they live and grew up, where they went to school, their favorite types of music and movies, how they feel on certain controversial and political issues, their religion or lack thereof, their favorite food, their hobbies…everything! How can you love someone when you do not know anything about them? How can you love someone even if you took five minutes to ask these things but have only known them for a week? Two weeks? A month?

Read this, reread this, and then read it again: If your friendship cannot last, neither will your romantic relationship. You need to learn how to distinguish love and lust. Acting upon your lust will make you falsely feel in love. When that happens, you’re just entering into a world of misery. Don’t do it. Ignore your bodies primal instinct and drive to mate. Be evolved, and take all the time in the world to get to know your interest before engaging in any romance. If they push and urge you to do it, get out. Because they aren’t on the same wavelength as you and they never will be. Likewise, you need to respect their decisions as well.

Above all else, if you find yourself in bed with someone you met a week or two ago, don’t expect a long term romantic relationship. You can expect heartache, though. Because now your body believes it’s in love with someone you don’t even know. You do not need physical touch to fall in love.

Stay strong and love on!

Margarita Island: Paradise of the Caribbean

If you’re in the north…I’m sorry. So am I, so I know how DAMN COLD it is!! That wind is worse than sticking your head in the freezer. This morning I went outside on my deck and the wood was pretty much begging for a blanket while the grass literally snapped in half when I stepped on it. Soon enough we’ll be dragging out the snow blower and I’ll be laughing as my brother gets covered head-to-toe in snow at 6 in the morning while I watch from the living room window in my nice warm robe and perhaps a hot cup of cocoa and Kahlua. (In this house, it’s never too early)

While I do enjoy a few days of snow, Christmas songs, pretty lights and cookies…I’d rather be spending my winter in the south. How far south? Try pretty-near-the-equator south. I don’t mean the Bahamas or Cancun or anything like that…I’m talking about the hidden treasure of South America. The golden nugget of the sea. The place I’d like to sail to any time of the year and build myself a little water-side house and just loaf for the rest of my life. This place is none other than Margarita Island, and if you’ve never heard of it…I’m glad I can introduce you.

Just off the coast of Venezuela (about a half an hour flight) lies the quaint little island of Margarita. Its 394 square miles house beautiful, lush vegetation, historical colonial homes, castles, and cathedrals, huge shopping centers, and the descendants of original Spanish settlers and natives to the island. Here, things are a bit different. Some places just seem frozen in time, and others seem so advanced you’ll wonder if you didn’t step into a time portal of sorts as you navigate the island.

 

As I said before, I’m what equals out to be a beach loaf, so naturally my favorite place to be is beach-side. I love the warm, white sand, the cool, salty sea, the sound of the waves, and of course the piña coladas. 

 

Also, chipchipis which you can pull right out of the sand, crack open and eat. Not bad….

You can also make soup. Mmmm…me wanty.

Did I mention the sunsets?

 

The most famous sunset is a must see from the city of Juan Griego, Margarita, though any view is just as stunning.

There are many places you can stay when you go to Margarita. Travel by taxi from the airport is affordably priced, and depending on where you stay you can get shuttled to the local sights to see or take a cab on your own. We stay at the Dunes Hotel and Resort, a modest resort located on the northern part of the island, situated on the Puerto Cruz beach strip. It is a secluded hotel containing time share condos, huge Olympic pool, kiddie pool, lounge pool, outdoor grill, game room, night club, theater, gift shops, buffet, childs park, and access to the main beach with volleyball, sea-side dining, and a tiki-style bar.

We snuck in before everyone else!

There are also women there who will braid your hair. AWESOME!

If you are on the beach and walk a ways down in the opposite direction of the lighthouse, you’ll come across a delightful gift shop and a few ways down more you’ll find another gift shop and a restaurant…complete with fresh from the sea fish grilled by the ones who live there (and two giant macaws).

In these gift shops you’ll find hand-made trinkets and jewelry. What’s so great about these? Look closer. Giant strands of pearls necklaces, pearl earring, pearl pendants, pearl bracelets…pearls! I LOVE pearls. Lucky for me, Margarita Island is famous for its pearls (and is consequently a main reason they were conquered by the Spanish). Heck, Margarita MEANS pearl. But are they real? Yeah, I was surprised that they were. For less than 5 US dollars (seriously) you can get hand-made REAL pearl jewelry. How do you know they are real, though?

TIP! If you take a pearl in question (clean, of course) and gently scrape it on your tooth, it should feel gritty. That is how you can tell a real pearl from a fake one. Fake will just glide on your tooth where as the real ones will be gritty, like sand or toothpaste. They passed the test; they are real, and beautiful.

At night at the resort they have amazing shows on their stage by the pool. It starts off with your little ones going on stage and dancing with others and then they really get to town with their extremely talented dancers putting on whatever show they have planned. They also have audience interactive comedy shows. Whatever they have going on, don't miss out because it is a hell of a good time.

So when you’re planning your next vacation…seriously consider Margarita Island. Be warned, though. This place is NOT a fancy 5 star luxury island where minimum wage natives greet you off the boat and cater to your every need. This is traditional Caribbean at its finest, and I cannot wait to return. I hope you’ll feel the same way.

Stay strong and love on!  

South American Cuisine: A Taste of Venezuela

Are you ready to get a taste of my favorite place in the world? So many people I’ve talked to assume that all food south of the US is spicy, soggy and gross. And to that I say poppycock! If you want gross Mexican food, go to a seedy Tex Mex grill ran by white kids. If you want authentic Mexican food go to Mexico.  Because you won’t find either in our neck of the woods! (Get this, not all Hispanic people are Mexican!)

I want to start off by introducing you to a one-of-a-kind, completely authentic and original piece of Venezuela. I’m talking about their national dish, the Arepa (ah-rey-puh), a type of sandwich that is so versatile you can literally have one for every occasion and every meal of the day. Not to mention, a hell of a lot healthier than normal sandwiches. So much so that doctors there actually recommend substituting arepas for sandwiches because of their low calorie and fat count. Awesome, no?

First you start with some brand name Pan arepa dough mix, which is basically a corn meal/flour. Add some salt to some water and mix it in until it becomes thick like regular dough. Form this into a ball with the palm of your hand and then flatten it into a disc shape. It can be super thin and really wide, or thicker and smaller, or even little minis (so cute!). They can be grilled, fried, baked, steamed, boil the dough and make bollitos with butter etc, but I prefer to put some oil in a big skillet (or a baking stone if you have one) and cook them right on the stove top. When one side of the arepa gets hard and browned a bit, it’s time to flip it and cook the other side. Depending on your heat, size and thickness of your dough, it could take anywhere from 20-30 minutes. If you want to, you can pick up an arepa maker (similar to a pancake maker) and make less than decent arepas in half the time. My advice? Go traditional! 

Now you’ll want to get the heart of your arepa ready while it cooks. What is it for? If you’re going for breakfast, do yourself a favor and mix up some eggs and cheese and meats like bacon, ham or sausage. If you’re going for lunch you can get some sandwich fixin’s like ham, turkey, roast beef, chicken, corned beef, even spam and your favorite cheese and condiments. If you’re making dinner, you can always make some seasoned pulled chicken, pork, or beef with savory vegetables and sauces which you’ll no doubt be licking off your fingers. Did I mention there is such a thing as dessert arepas?

Mmmmm

Don’t forget your cup of coffee…Venezuela has THE BEST coffee. They say Colombia has the best coffee…but they’re wrong. I am not a coffee person in the least, but after tasting the sweet, nutty, rich and full flavor of the Venezuelan coffee bean I’ve never looked back. If you want the best coffee in the world, get your hands on some authentic Venezuelan brand coffee. But be warned…everything else will taste like shit afterwards.

The best.

Another one of my favorite things to eat in Venezuela is the almighty cachapa. A deliciously griddled corn pancake which is traditionally served with queso de mano (cheese made by hand) is a compliment to any dish or a dish all on its own at any meal of the day. If you get the chance, look up a cachapa recipe online and try it yourself. Make sure the corn is fresh for best results.

After a long day of enjoying traditional favorites, why not kick back with your buddies, enjoy a Polar (for the beer lovers) and gobble down some empanadas, tequeños, and pastelitos? Tequeños are like fried cheese sticks 2.0, and pastelitos (literally, little pie) are like pierogies but vary in size and are made with a different dough and fried. Empanadas are similar, often made with either a corn or regular kind of dough…and filled with amazing deliciousness and just dripping with essence of heaven. Yes, they’re that good.

So if you’re down that way, give me a holler and let me know how your experience was. Or I can give you some authentic family recipes that the internet just can’t provide ;)

Stay strong and love on!

The Guilt Trip

I talk about and will talk about a lot of kinds of travels and trips on this blog; landing in different cities, seeing scenery, hotels and airports, vacation destinations…all that wonderful jazz. Out of all the amazing sights to see and activities to do, not one trip sucks as much as the dreaded guilt trip. Let me tell you why.

When you are in a long distance relationship, there is something that you and your SO will eventually have to figure out. And that is where you’re going meet and stay together for the long run. Does he or she need to pack up, leave their home and town and maybe even job or education and start new with you? Or do you do the same? Can either of you afford it? How different is the cost of living? How often can you make it back to see family and friends? How easy is it to get a new job? Start a new education?

As if answering these questions amongst yourselves wasn’t hard enough, your family has to stick their big fat noses into your business. “You belong with us!” “S/he should have to come here!” “Everyone loves you and wants you here” “What if something bad happens?” Now, not only do you have to satisfy you and your lover’s needs, you also have to satisfy the needs of YOUR family, and your SO’s family. Wonder-fucking-ful.

If you are the one who just needs to escape from the misery you call home and you decide to try life out with your love, be warned. If your family does not support you 100%, you will be guilted. And they won’t stop until you feel like locking yourself in a tight space and never coming out again. Sure they say they mean well, but how much love is there in making your own blood feel miserable? They learn how life is without you, realize that it’s not the same and then want you back. Isn’t that just the way it goes with ANYTHING, though?

If you’re lucky enough, your family will understand this:

I am an adult. I make my own decision in life. My wants are not your wants. My needs are not your needs. We will always be family, but we will never be the same person.

If you’re lucky.

My advice? If your family does not support you or has guilted you in the past before…just leave them out of your decision making process. Where you decide to live your live with your SO is between you and s/he. Don’t let their ignorance and selfishness get in the way of your love and ruin your relationship. And, if all else fails and both families cannot agree…both of you go away from both of them. But remember, they most likely did not have to make the choices you are faced with and do not know the immense pressure and anxiety that can happen as a result. Also remember that it is your life, and it will never get better until you start living it the way you want.

Stay strong and love on!

Being an Outsider: La Gringa

Everyone feels like an outsider at some point in their life; grade school, college, work, special events, clubs, parties, etc. Any time when you’re thrown into an environment you’re not used to with people you don’t know can be very awkward, especially if you’re “different.”  For me, I was (and still kind of am) a white American girl tossed into a world of Spanish and dark skinned sexy people. Did I mention I can’t really speak Spanish?

Being “La Gringa” is one hell of an adventure, let me tell you that. From the stares of amazement from children, general looks from adults, a completely different way of living and a 100% language barrier, I really felt like a fish out of water the first time I went to Venezuela to be with my fiancé (boyfriend at the time). Sometimes, not only did I feel like a fish out of water, I felt like a fish on a damn grill.

In Venezuela (and other Hispanic countries), homes are most certainly different than what we in the US are used to. Most homes in suburban and residential areas near the city consist of mostly no carpet, open to the outside, made of concrete, fenced in, surrounded by barbed wire or electric fence, pad locked, minimal lawn size with gates everywhere. I kind of knew they would be different from seeing homes in California and Florida but they just don’t compare. To be completely honest, the first thing I thought when I saw everything was “Wow, it looks like a prison.”

VS

These are, of course, the typical moderately wealthy type of homes. Then you have these:

I’ll save that topic for another post…some day.

 Not only are the homes different, so is the food (duh). When I bring the topic up to a lot of people, their minds automatically go to Mexican and they ask “All their food is spicy isn’t it??” No. No, no, no, a thousand times no. It’s delicious and full of flavor and nothing at all compared to the Tex-Mex Americans are used to. In fact, it is very difficult to find a good Tex-Mex place! The remotely familiar food service they had that reminded me of home was pizza, and even so it is about a hundred times better than anything here. More on Venezuelan cuisine later.

On to the language barrier, which sucks. I took 2 years of Spanish in high school and tried my damndest with Rosetta Stone but the first time I went to South America I was just shit out of luck. Could barely speak a word or understand anything, which is particularly hard when your love’s family doesn’t speak English. It’s also hard when hardly anyone in the country speaks English. Suddenly, it’s like being shut off from the rest of your surroundings. You have absolutely no clue what is going on, what anyone is saying, why people are laughing, why they’re shouting…nothing. Everything is a damn blur and even though you’re surrounded by people and family and your SO…you’re alone. Even in your own home. You’re alone and completely helpless and have to rely on someone else to do your talking for you. It just really sucks.

And as if not being able to talk doesn’t single you out enough, being white as hell with light brown straight hair in a world full of tanned people with dark features will surely do it. I’ll never forget using the restroom at a mall and seeing this little girl staring at me in awe as I washed my hands. Or having a gay guy from a salon rave about my beautiful blonde hair. Me, blonde! Ha!

I guess through the years I’ve learned how to blend in. I know my way around the place, can understand quite a lot of Spanish, know how to act, walk, and dress like a Venezuelan woman. By the end of my last visit, I really felt like I finally fit in (somewhat)…only to have to be thrown back into this dump of a society and do it all over again. I mean, I didn’t get stares anymore and I had a gist of what was going on, people even talked to me like I could understand them…and I could! And now it’s over for the moment.

Being different is really hard, especially in a place where being different is just asking for trouble. But I found my niche and grew to be comfortable in my surroundings and the people I was with. In a way, I think everyone should experience something similar…it makes you realize just how easily your whole world could flip upside down and how you need to be ready to go through it and survive.

Stay strong and love on!