Why You Need Breathing Room

After a long time away from your significant other, the feeling of finally being back in their arms is nothing short of ecstatic. But as time passes, you might find yourself irritable, on edge or just not “you.” How, though? You’re with your love, why has the bliss changed?

It hasn’t, and neither have you. What has happened is what I like to call “over-saturation,” where you’ve literally binged on your relationship and togetherness. Remember that one time you did that crazy diet where you absolutely could not eat your favorite food? And then when the diet was over you loaded up like crazy? Well, that had consequences, didn’t it? This is no different.

After being away from each other, it’s no doubt that you both want to spend every waking moment together. I could see a few days, maybe a week or two, but anything beyond that will result in feelings going downhill. My advice? Get some alone time. Not in the manner of “I hate your guts, get away from me,” but as in “I need to collect myself.” This isn’t to say that the hating of the guts won’t happen. If you don’t get your alone time before you burst, it will happen, and it will be ugly. But that is another story.

Alone time can come in all forms. For me, it came in the form of my fiancée leaving for college classes. But then the classes ended, and I needed to find new ways to keep my sanity. Sometimes this came through doing laundry, cooking, doing dishes, or showering. Anything that got my brain to relax and focus on something other than my relationship actually helped our relationship grow stronger through the time we were together. Sometimes I didn’t even need to leave the room to find my own mind. Many nights we spent with each other but doing our own thing. I would be on my computer working on projects or browsing Pinterest or Facebook and he would be doing the same thing or gaming.

It’s not about a problem in a relationship that you need time to yourself; it’s about recognizing the need for alone time and satisfying that need before you suffer the consequences of over-saturation. Of course, anyone who lives together for an extended period of time needs alone time. I assume this is how married couples also keep their sanity. At this point, though, I see no difference between the married and dating status in my own relationship. I guess seven years with someone can have that effect.

So any way you find your peace of mind, keep it and hold onto it. You are your own person, no matter how much you feel as one with your SO. Remember that is takes two to tango.

Stay strong and love on!