The Guilt Trip

I talk about and will talk about a lot of kinds of travels and trips on this blog; landing in different cities, seeing scenery, hotels and airports, vacation destinations…all that wonderful jazz. Out of all the amazing sights to see and activities to do, not one trip sucks as much as the dreaded guilt trip. Let me tell you why.

When you are in a long distance relationship, there is something that you and your SO will eventually have to figure out. And that is where you’re going meet and stay together for the long run. Does he or she need to pack up, leave their home and town and maybe even job or education and start new with you? Or do you do the same? Can either of you afford it? How different is the cost of living? How often can you make it back to see family and friends? How easy is it to get a new job? Start a new education?

As if answering these questions amongst yourselves wasn’t hard enough, your family has to stick their big fat noses into your business. “You belong with us!” “S/he should have to come here!” “Everyone loves you and wants you here” “What if something bad happens?” Now, not only do you have to satisfy you and your lover’s needs, you also have to satisfy the needs of YOUR family, and your SO’s family. Wonder-fucking-ful.

If you are the one who just needs to escape from the misery you call home and you decide to try life out with your love, be warned. If your family does not support you 100%, you will be guilted. And they won’t stop until you feel like locking yourself in a tight space and never coming out again. Sure they say they mean well, but how much love is there in making your own blood feel miserable? They learn how life is without you, realize that it’s not the same and then want you back. Isn’t that just the way it goes with ANYTHING, though?

If you’re lucky enough, your family will understand this:

I am an adult. I make my own decision in life. My wants are not your wants. My needs are not your needs. We will always be family, but we will never be the same person.

If you’re lucky.

My advice? If your family does not support you or has guilted you in the past before…just leave them out of your decision making process. Where you decide to live your live with your SO is between you and s/he. Don’t let their ignorance and selfishness get in the way of your love and ruin your relationship. And, if all else fails and both families cannot agree…both of you go away from both of them. But remember, they most likely did not have to make the choices you are faced with and do not know the immense pressure and anxiety that can happen as a result. Also remember that it is your life, and it will never get better until you start living it the way you want.

Stay strong and love on!