The Guilt Trip

I talk about and will talk about a lot of kinds of travels and trips on this blog; landing in different cities, seeing scenery, hotels and airports, vacation destinations…all that wonderful jazz. Out of all the amazing sights to see and activities to do, not one trip sucks as much as the dreaded guilt trip. Let me tell you why.

When you are in a long distance relationship, there is something that you and your SO will eventually have to figure out. And that is where you’re going meet and stay together for the long run. Does he or she need to pack up, leave their home and town and maybe even job or education and start new with you? Or do you do the same? Can either of you afford it? How different is the cost of living? How often can you make it back to see family and friends? How easy is it to get a new job? Start a new education?

As if answering these questions amongst yourselves wasn’t hard enough, your family has to stick their big fat noses into your business. “You belong with us!” “S/he should have to come here!” “Everyone loves you and wants you here” “What if something bad happens?” Now, not only do you have to satisfy you and your lover’s needs, you also have to satisfy the needs of YOUR family, and your SO’s family. Wonder-fucking-ful.

If you are the one who just needs to escape from the misery you call home and you decide to try life out with your love, be warned. If your family does not support you 100%, you will be guilted. And they won’t stop until you feel like locking yourself in a tight space and never coming out again. Sure they say they mean well, but how much love is there in making your own blood feel miserable? They learn how life is without you, realize that it’s not the same and then want you back. Isn’t that just the way it goes with ANYTHING, though?

If you’re lucky enough, your family will understand this:

I am an adult. I make my own decision in life. My wants are not your wants. My needs are not your needs. We will always be family, but we will never be the same person.

If you’re lucky.

My advice? If your family does not support you or has guilted you in the past before…just leave them out of your decision making process. Where you decide to live your live with your SO is between you and s/he. Don’t let their ignorance and selfishness get in the way of your love and ruin your relationship. And, if all else fails and both families cannot agree…both of you go away from both of them. But remember, they most likely did not have to make the choices you are faced with and do not know the immense pressure and anxiety that can happen as a result. Also remember that it is your life, and it will never get better until you start living it the way you want.

Stay strong and love on!

8 Things to do on a Long Ass Flight

Whether you’re off to see your love, headed to vacation, or out on business…long flights suck; especially if you’re not going anywhere but home. You spend hours in line at the airport for and maybe even in the  immigration department, probably got up at 4 or 5 in the morning, and drove a few hours to get there. Now you have to sit in a crowded and loud plane for hours. YAY! Here are some things you can do to pass the time.

Read a book – This is probably one of the most classic options anyone could consider, but there must be a reason for that, right? So, I don’t like reading and I am one to literally judge a book by its cover, but you should seriously consider this. If you are a reader and have your own books you take with you, awesome. If not, hit up a library before you leave or an airport bookstore (don’t worry, the price usually isn’t any higher than at Borders or Barnes and Noble) while you’re waiting for your flight to board.

A few trips ago the notion just hit me as I walked passed a bookstore in the airport and I just went for it. I picked up the first edition of 50 Shades of Grey and almost finished it by the end of my flight. I hadn’t planned on it but I’d heard some things about it…and it was there. And before I knew it, we touched down and I was half-heartedly wishing we had another hour so I could finish it. Oh well!

Write – Even if you’re not a writer or a blogger, it never hurts to get some thoughts down on paper or on your laptop, cell phone, tablet, or iProduct (iPad, iPad Mini, iPod, iPhone..yada yada). Before I had a blog or anything like that, I had an exceptionally painful trip home after being with my fiancée for quite a while. I didn’t have my iPod or a cell phone, so I grabbed a piece of paper from my bag and wrote my feelings all over it, front to back. By the time I was done, we had begun our initial descent and I was all cried out, and ready to get the hell out of there and crawl into an empty bed. It helped pass the time and really helped me get my emotions out of me before the trip was even over.

Listen to music – This is pretty self explanatory, and most people have means to listen to music wherever they go. So before you board the plane, make sure you have comfortable headphones/earbuds and an updated music list. Also, I’ve said so in my earlier post, (How to Stay Happy While Being Apart), but I’ll reiterate…I LOVE Jason Mraz’ Mr. AZ album. Ever since I started travelling his music has been with me and I never get on a plane without listening to him. It’s kind of like my own tradition. And since an entire album is around 30-40 minutes, you can see how it passes time quickly.

People-watch – Okay, don’t be a creeper, first and foremost. But if you’re on a flight with lively people it is very interesting to pay attention to conversations others around you have, including the staff, and to see how they interact. Seasoned travelers easily can pick out other seasoned travelers and the newbies, and there is certainly nothing cruel about observing oddities out of anyone and saving them to share with friends and family later. Everyone likes a good travel story!

Talk – If you’re a social person, take this opportunity to get to know someone. I’m serious. Be friendly and introduce yourself to your row and strike up a conversation with them. You’ll be surprised to learn about where they’re coming from and where they’re going. You might find that you have things in common, and this person might become a good connection for you in the future. Really good conversations could last all night, and before you know it you’ll both be waiting at the luggage rack.

Just don’t be annoying. Really, if the person doesn't want to talk or gives you short answers, don't push. There's nothing more annoying than a neighbor who won't just shut the hell up when you're trying to do you own thing to pass the time.

Watch a movie – Like listening to music…this is a no-brainer. If the airline is playing a movie that interests you, go for it. If you have some movies on your laptop or for a portable DVD player, put it on and enjoy!

Play a game – If you have any kind of computer, tablet or device that loads games, seriously go for it. Or, if you have a game book such as a sudoku or crossword puzzles, crack them out and go to town. Anything that keeps your mind working and busy can pass the time like there’s no tomorrow. My recommendations from the apple store would be Angry Birds, Draw Something, Song Pop (you’ll need internet for this one), Fruit Ninja, Great Solitaire, Tap Studio, Shape It, Hatchi and Bloons.

Sleep – Again, no brainer. Bring a nice soft blanket and pillow you can easily fit in your carryon even if the airline offers a blanket and pillow for your flight…your own are much better! Go for the eye mask to block out unwanted light and grab some earplugs to block out the unwanted noise. Be careful though, because if you are asleep the flight attendant won’t wake you up when she brings around her treats.

Stay strong and love on!