Monday, November 26, 2012

How to Stay Happy while being Apart


Those of us in a long distance relationship probably know the joy and excitement from those rare times when you actually get when you see your special someone. But for as long as you waited to see them, the time unfairly passes by so quick that the next thing you know you’re in line at the airport thinking “how did I get here?”

The trip back is absolutely horrendous. You’ve maybe only just said your goodbyes and you’re already missing them. Then you need to go through security, deal with airport people, lug your carryon down long corridors to get to your gate, wait forever to get on the damn plane, squeeze into a tiny seat next to a sweaty fat guy who is already asleep and wait an hour on the runway before you are finally on your way home.

And if it hasn’t already happened yet, the pain sets in. You see your SO’s town, city...maybe even country fade away into the distance. For me, the pain from this is always excruciating, especially if I don’t know if that’s the last time I’ll ever see him. People in in-person relationships think its hard then their lover goes on a trip for the weekend, but that honestly just pales in comparison. The feeling is like having someone rip open your chest, take their rusty knife and just go to town. It’s neither fun nor pleasant, nor is the stares you get from people with your red shot eyes (if you’re like me and can’t help but let the tears flow.) Which reminds me…



If you enjoy some good music and don’t already have it, download some Jason Mraz. I never do this kind of traveling without my Mr. AZ album. 

Anyways, when you get back home the reality REALLY sets in. You’re tired, so damn tired, can’t cry anymore and now you have either an empty house or a family telling you how much they missed you and how you belong with them. All you want to do is curl up with your love, but you can’t. So you go to sleep (or try to) alone, and you wake up alone. The next few days are the hardest, and then normal life starts back up. Still alone.

But how can I stay happy? How can I continue like nothing has happened? If it’s the first time you’ve done this…I’m sorry, I’m truly sorry. I can say it gets a LITTLE easier the more you do it…a LITTLE. But there are things you can do to liven your spirit and stay happy during your time away, for however long it may be.

First, get busy. The worst thing you can do is sit and do nothing all day, because your SO is all you’re going to think about and all its going to do is be torture. So find something to do, if you have a job take on an extra project. Volunteer at a hospital or an animal shelter, do all you can to get your mind off the pain.

This will get you through the first week or two, which are the most crucial at getting back to “normal” life. During all of this…talk to your SO. Let him/her know what you’re going through and remember that you aren’t alone, he or she is going through the same thing as well. It helps to get your feelings out instead of holding them in, because they’ll build up and explode as a different emotion at a later time…not good.

Lastly, start making your next plans. Even if you don’t have the money to do anything official yet, it doesn’t hurt to talk about what you want to do when you get back together. If you can, set a date and count down. My fiancée likes to think it’s bad luck, but it helps me to be able to have something to look forward to, to work towards, and it significantly helps me get through whatever length of time we spend apart.

Stay strong and love on!

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