What I’ve Been Up To

Howdy and welcome back to my blog! It’s been a while since I’ve had the will to sit down and write so I’d just like to take moment and explain where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to…in wonderful, amazingly beautiful 2013! There might have been a little sarcasm there…

Anyways. I hope you all had a wonderful New Years and are having a great start to 2013. I haven’t been so lucky, but I’m alive at least…right? Well, I’ve had a few orders come in to my Fiverr account that I’d like to share! LIKE to being the key word here because they will be featured in a book! WOOHOO! Check out the article and the author here and look forward to it, because I sure am excited. 

What I CAN show you is another order I did for (I’m assuming) a student at Yale to zombify their mascot, this cute little bulldog, Handsome Dan

I was really proud of this one. I worked pretty hard to get it all right and was partially inspired by the Resident Evil Lickers  with the long tongues and all. It was the client's idea to rip off his roommates hand and have the dog eat it, by the way. I think it turned out great.

This was something I worked on earlier; a retouch project that I wanted to end up being like a vintage magazine photo. I think it turned out well:

Other than that I’ve been going crazy looking for work. I’m not sure about where you all might be from and how the jobs situation there is, but here it seems terrible. It might just be me though, but I have a feeling half of these companies I’ve applied to (about 50-60) have fake ads and never wanted to hire anyone in the first place.

So to be proactive in my job search I’ve made a LinkedIn account, and you’re all welcome to add me. Perhaps we can all work together to beat this economy and secure careers rather than just passing jobs to keep money coming in.

Although, at this point, I’m desperate and will pretty much do anything to make ends meet, and I’m sure there’s plenty out there in the same position. But like I said before, I’m alive, aren’t I?

Stay strong and love on!

How I Lost 30 Pounds in 1 Month

With 2012 coming to an end and 2013 right around the corner, I’m sure most of you are either humbugging New Year’s resolutions or embracing them. Me? I’m embracing the opportunity. Partly because I’ve been binging on holiday goodies. Okay, more like mostly. But I’m not alone, and I’m sure you had your fair share too. Or maybe you didn’t and are at a constant struggle to lose weight and keep it off. Welcome to my world, I’ve been struggling since I hit my teen years. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t tried to get it off. 

I’ve done tons of diets. I’ve used tons of products. I have worked out for hours every day for months and hadn’t lost a single pound of fat. I’ve starved myself. I’ve done detoxes. I have changed my entire diet...but to no avail. That is until I came across a random Facebook post earlier this year that sparked my interest and led to tons of research.

The HCG Diet. Have you ever heard of it? Most people I’ve spoken to have never heard of it, and tons are quick to dismiss it as a “fad diet.” Do not be discouraged. This diet has been around for decades and is the only diet with a huge community online with real people with real results. And no, nobody paid me to write this. I want to share what has changed my life and what can change yours too whether you are extremely obese or just have a few pounds you can’t get rid of. I am no doctor, but I will outline the basics of the diet here and me and my fiancées’ experience in doing it.

First let me show you Pre-Diet Emily (and Alberto, fiancée extraordinaire).

Oh my. YUCK! It’s a great picture (so cute), but would be better had I been a lot thinner. Now let me show you Post-Diet Emily:

OH LA LA! At 30 pounds lighter, I'm still not at my target weight just yet (there’s a lot to go) but…damn! Now lets see Emily from a couple days ago:

The . Weight. Is. Still. GONE!  I might be loading on the holiday yum yums, but the scale doesn't lie. It hasn't come back. I just feel like it has thanks to all these pies and cookies. 

If you have any ounce of self control and want to see 1-3 lbs fall off every time you step on the scale you have GOT to try the HCG diet. First and foremost, HCG is that hormone that pregnant women release (thought it occurs naturally in men and women). You can either get HCG injections from a clinic or buy the HCG drops and take them sub-lingually, which is what my fiancé and I did. DO NOT buy the homeopathic “all natural alternative” to real HCG. They’re banned, for one, and two, you’ll end up gaining weight and being malnourished.  It has got to be real HCG. If you are not sure, you can buy a cheapie pregnancy test and drop it on the strip. If it comes out positive, it’s real. If it doesn’t, send it back and get your money returned.

The diet regimen we did consisted of 3 phases. The load up phase/Phase 1 (2-3 days), the VLCD phase/Phase 2 (roughly 20-40 days), and the maintenance phase/Phase 3 (No shorter than 3 weeks). Phase 1 involves loading up on very fatty foods to get your body into fat burning mode.

Phase 2, or VLCD (Very Low Calorie Diet) involves eating no more than 500-700 calories per day. Absolutely no sugars, no starches, no carbs, no fats, and a very restricted diet allowance. Basically, we ate a LOT of chicken and tomatoes. But there are tons and tons of delicious Phase 2 recipes online that not only teach you how to cook without unhealthy fats and ingredients, but show you that healthy food CAN be delicious when cooked correctly with the right kind of food. We just happened to like the chicken and tomato recipes. ;)

I will be frank. The first day or two on the VLCD will be hard. Very hard. You will be hungry and will have to fight cravings. It’s all a part of the process and will soon fade as the HCG kicks in. In fact, you will be battling with yourself to actually eat because the HCG makes you feel full all of the time and completely takes away your cravings, which makes the entire process much easier.

This is the phase where all of your weight will come off. We started losing between 2 and 4 lbs the first week or two but then…well, let’s just say you CAN NOT CHEAT. You absolutely cannot stray even an ounce away from the diet or there WILL be dire consequences. We did, only a few bites and we plateaued for a few days. So instead of telling you how I lost 30 lbs in a month, I could be telling you how I lost 40 lbs in a month. Oh well!

The last phase is still keeping from starches and sugar but your calories are back to near normal and you can eat normally again…yay! You should not lose or gain any more than 3 lbs within the 3 weeks of the maintenance phase  to keep you weight stable so that you keep off all that fat you dropped.

If you do it to the T and follow the diet 100% you WILL lose weight daily and it WILL stay off, like it has for me and my fiancée. Together, we both dropped nearly 65 lbs in only a month and couldn’t be happier with the results. That being said, I advise you to do the diet with a friend or your significant other. I can’t say with complete certainty that I would have done the diet without him and vice versa because it is just so great to be going through the same thing together, you can both serve as each other’s rock and motivation.

Please don’t use my post as a guide! Read Dr. Simeons’ book Pounds and Inches to get the original guidelines for the diet and to learn the science behind how it works. Good luck if you do decide to do it! 

Stay strong and love on!

Way Off Topic: Cheesy Bacon Ramen! YUM!

So the other night I was sitting here trying to figure out what to blog about when my stomach growled angrily at me for not feeding it for 2/3rds of the day. I gave in and decided to go see what was in the fridge. Now, even though we had gone shopping the day before, there wasn't really any kind of lunch-type foods I could munch on until I decided to make dinner other than ramen...but that had been done before.

Old.

Blah.

Then I saw the bacon in the fridge...and then the cheese and my mouth started watering and I just DID IT! And I thought I would share my delicious, oh-so-not healthy lunch (:

Ingredients:

Ramen

Delicious delicious bacon

Cheese

One egg

Salt/Pepper to taste

Love <3

I took a few strips of bacon and cut it up into little pieces and started to render the fat off in the skillet while I boiled salted water and cooked my ramen. By the way, if you don't have the brick style ramen and have a cup style like me, Just take a sharp knife (be careful)_and cut it open from the bottom to the top and it should pop right out.

Cook the ramen in boiling water for 2 1/2 to 3 minutes until it is all loose from its original shape. Then strain that bad baby and drop it into some icy cold water and let it chill.

When your bacon becomes nice and brown and sizzling, strain out the cold water from your noodles and then plop that ramen right down into the hot pan and bacon grease. 

Kudos to Gramma for the awesome tongs!

Let this cook for a bit until the bacon is thoroughly tossed into your noodles. At this point, you can also add some Worcestershire sauce or some soy sauce for that extra umami flavor. Or you can look at your begging dog and get all giddy by how cute they look.

Just one morsel, please!

Then you can get back to cooking and drop an egg onto the side and scramble it a bit and then toss it in. You know, for when you REALLY want to get fancy.

Mix it all up and serve!

When its all dished out you can top it with some nice cheese and let it melt a bit before digging in. 

It was damn delicious! If you try it...enjoy!

Stay strong and love on!

Merry Christmas!

I'd like to take the time today to wish you all a very merry Christmas this year. Whether you're with your loved one or somewhere else, rest assured that everything will be okay. Christmas, for me, has always been a tradition thing. It's a time when what family we have left goes from my parents house to my grandmothers house for breakfast and presents and more presents and then lunch and cookies and fudge. Lots of cookies and fudge.

We do this every year and have done it every year since I was born. The huge family gatherings we used to have have dwindled to mere immediate family members but the tradition is still there. Every year my mom somehow floods her living room floor with presents, even if she barely had any money. She always wants to get all of us tons and tons of things when we in reality don't need anything, but we've always always always had more than enough and I have appreciated that.

So we all sit there in the morning with A Christmas Story on the TV (more than likely, anyways) waiting for my father to crawl out of his man-cave and creak up the stairs to make himself some coffee and then sit with us so we can all open presents. All the while making hilarious little side comments about everything we've gotten. It wouldn't be a good Christmas without him or his jokes! Then we head to my grandmothers house and do the same thing while we either wait for another turkey dinner or a delicious honey baked ham and this year, some fried chicken....Mmmm.

We never do anything hugely extravagant, but the little things we do are what make the tradition and the difference. I might not be with my fiancée this year like we planned, but we are together in our hearts and I hope he and all of you have the best Christmas yet.

Stay strong and love on! 

To Tell or Not to Tell

So you’re in a long distance relationship; a strong, long term, long distance relationship. While you’re going about your daily business, you see other people and their significant others together…happy. Then one day, for the first time, someone asks you if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. And you stumble on your words and think “My God, what will they think of me?” or “What a rude question. It’s none of their business!”

But you can’t just ignore whoever it is asking the question. So you need to figure out if you care what they might think or not. Answering “Yes” will bring about a series of questions, so be prepared to answer them if you want to be truthful. Who is it? What’s s/he like? Where is s/he from? You met where? How do you know this isn’t some like 50 year old fat pervert? How do you know s/he isn’t cheating? Have you even ever met face to face? What does your family think? Are you going to move there?  I could seriously write a book!

If you aren’t truthful (and you don’t have to be) you need to be prepared to answer the questions that follow. Why not? Have you ever dated before? What kinds of people do you like? I have a friend, do you want to meet? Do you want to go out with me? Why don’t you go out and have fun? Do you spend all your time alone? I’ve heard them all. They all suck.

Even in today’s age of technology people are still wary of those who are in long distance relationships. We see commercials for Match.com and even specific sites like ChristianMingle.com and BlackPeopleMeet.com all the time, but it is still a new idea for most people to meet an actual person through the internet and to fall in love with them, even if the two people aren’t physically together. Some of them are the naysayers that need a physical attraction to fall in love and hate those that can’t, others are more open minded and are willing to accept the idea, even though they wouldn’t do it themselves. And that’s more than okay, because long distance relationships are not for everyone. 

If you are in a long distance relationship and you haven’t “come out” or been asked specifically about it, now is the time to think about what your answers to some possible questions might be, and how much you are willing to tell. Yes, it is nobody’s business what your love life entails, and if you feel strongly this way you’re going to have to risk being an ass and just saying “Yes/No, I’d rather not talk about that as it’s a personal matter.” If it’s an acquaintance they’ll more than likely understand, albeit be a bit hurt/embarrassed at their prying. If it’s a friend, they may push and prod for answers. And if its family, they will certainly be hurt and angry that you aren’t sharing that kind of information with them. But it’s ultimately up to you and the kind of grief you want to put yourself in.

Me? I used to hide it when I was a lot younger. I was 13 when I met my fiancée and we got “together” two days before my 14^th birthday. Being young, I knew that it wouldn’t be as socially acceptable as it is now that I’m 21, and when I finally did come out to more than my best friend, I received a LOT of nasty and rude comments about it. He’s fake. What a loser. I’ll bet its some pervert child molester. I’ll bet he cheats on you. You know, the same kind of mean comments kids make to each other, but on a different topic other than how fat or ugly I was.

Because I’ve gone through the questioning and the interrogations, I know the answer to pretty much any question curious people can come up with. And it’s okay, I like answering questions and educating people and sharing that side of me. Fuck, I’m in love! When you’re in love you want everyone to know! Especially in social settings when “players” think they have a shot with you. It’s nice to be able to say “I’m spoken for” and leave it at that and enjoy the rest of your night. Some assholes might have negative comments like premature adolescents, but most people are polite.

In fact, most people are excited to hear about my tales. I suppose that is why I started this blog. There is a lot more to a long distance relationship than just a few superficial “ily” text messages and “cyber sex.” They are fascinated with the places I’ve been and seen and the kind of food I’ve eaten and people I’ve met…and I love sharing it.

Don’t be hurt by other’s opinions of your personal life…it’s YOUR life. But don’t assume the worst in people either. Yes there are assholes, but the ones who are genuinely interested and are excited for your happiness make all the different in the world…

Stay strong and love on!

Marjiuana Legalization According to an Officer

While on a ride along with an officer for an internship project for my degree, the topic of marijuana legalization came up. This is what the fine officer, who I will keep nameless, said:

“Well, a lot of officers are very…by the books. Most of the inner city cops are, but the ones here at these small town agencies…we don’t need to do what they do in the city. Our town doesn’t benefit from their arrests and tickets; it goes straight to the county. There’s no push for us to be stringent and tough super cops here. I can’t speak for the other officers, but as for me…I think before I write a ticket or make an arrest.”

He paused for a moment as we turned into a neighborhood with kids playing in the streets. We waved to a few of them and they waved back, shouting their HI’S! and HELLO’S! He continued as drove down the allotment:

“I think of it like this. If there is an 18 or 20 year old kid who casually smokes weed and gets arrested and convicted, that stays with him for life. He might just pay a fine and get a slap on the wrist, but I think of the future. I think of when he’s in his 30’s and 40’s, with children, a wife, and a home…as the years go by life gets more dangerous – he might want to get a gun to protect himself and his family. But because of a stupid decision he made years and years ago, he won’t be able to do that.”

He shook his head in disgust.

“I just don’t agree with that. Everyone should be able to protect themselves, it’s our right. Even if the person is being an ass to me, I think of how he has his own life. How something as…idiotic as pot can ruin certain aspects of someone’s future. It’s not right, and I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing the repercussions of my wanting to bust someone for something that trivial.”

I nodded and asked “So what do you do when you find someone with pot?”

He laughed. “Well, back in the day we could just give them a look and say “Get out of here with that. If I catch you with it again its mine. But today…no…I just make them crush it on the ground and send them away with a verbal warning. They're usually not happy about that.”

 I laughed this time, mentioning that if they didn't want to get caught they shouldn't be carrying it in public anyways. He nodded…and agreed.

How refreshing!

Stay strong and love on!

The United States of Me

Tee Hee

Every now and then I wake up with a notion; an urge, a bright idea...a thought. I go to write something short and it ends up being a book. Those of us who travel a LOT can probably see where I'm coming from this, but those who sit and spend most of their day watching a national news station probably will send me hate for it. That's okay, it's your right to express your opinion. It isn't your right to threaten, however. ;)

This is not the United States of America..this is the United States of ME! This isn't the land of the free, this is the land of the greedy. Where people only fight for each other's freedom of speech when it agrees with their own. Where the Constitution says ALL men are created equal yet we still have people in ghettos, women still get the short end of the stick, and homosexuals cannot PURSUE HAPPINESS.

Where we promise democracy but fool our people into believing they have two people to vote for, when in reality their vote counts for nothing. Where we have a RIGHT to education but have twisted it into a RIGHT to PAY for an education that will actually teach us something. Where people think the second amendment means giving every single a handgun and then shooting those who do not agree. Where people believe everything their news tells them and divides our country into LEFT and RIGHT. Where if you for one second believe everyone should be equal across the board you are not only WRONG, but you are a TERRORIST.

When I feed the poor they call me a SAINT. When I ask why the poor have no food they call me a COMMUNIST.

Where a country that promised freedom from religion has its people fighting over taking out "under God" from the pledge and putting prayer into school. Where we take our young men and women who are apparently too young to drink or smoke, slap a uniform on them and a gun in their hand and tell them they are fighting for the freedom of their country so that they can be expendable pawns. Where people think its OKAY to not care about another HUMAN BEING simply because they were not born on the same land they were born on. Where people jump at the chance to send their elderly to nursing homes and then hope for their death to come quickly so they don't have to keep paying for them to live.

Where people think its OKAY to let someone die because they don't have enough money or enough insurance to pay for an operation. Where people equate your worth to how much money you make, if you have a degree, and what your degree is in. Where people cannot understand the concept of "live and let live" and they they are NOT right when there is more than one answer. Where people get angry at others for practicing their rights the Constitution spells clear as day. Where criminals pay their debt to society and then are labeled as criminals for the rest of their lives.

Where in one sentence, someone says we need more protection but then says the government needs to leave us alone. Where people live in fear of an oncoming martial law that will apparently cause the military to break into our houses and kill us all, because the news says so. Where people claim they are in the BEST country in the world when all they have to reference the rest of the planet is what their news reporters tell them. Where people already make up their mind on an issue and cannot put themselves in anyone else's shoes but their own gilded ones. No no no, this is not the United States of America. This is not the place our forefathers dreamt of. This is a damn nightmare.

All I can say at the end of this is lead by example and fight for what you think is right. If you have to, leave and never look back. People will see you happy and either hate you for it or envy you. Do what makes you happy.

Stay strong and love on!